No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize