i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it glows. i had to have it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
