Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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