Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she told me i tasted like america
This show inspires me to have sex in space
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
