Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We talked him into tasing himself.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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