i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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