I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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