when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
