so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
