Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
