I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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