there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
