And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
