You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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