Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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