come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
