What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
