Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
