You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
