I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
