just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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