Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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