Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
