Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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