i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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