Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
