She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
