He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize