all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My dick has a subreddit
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
