He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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