then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
