He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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