Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
