Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
