It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I want a musical about memes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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