Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
