so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
