Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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