I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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