My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
