Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
