my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Semen is not good for contacts.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
