dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize