I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
