So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
