Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
