Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Enjoy the penises
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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