Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
