hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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