This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
