I love black thongs
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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