Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
