Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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