While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
