Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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