It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
