I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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