I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize