About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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