So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
