Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
