am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
