ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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