Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
