i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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