Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
