btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
